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Name: Salem
Country: United States
Birthday: 5/16/1987
Gender: Female
Interests: Art, books, writing, movies, music...the usuals basically. I'm not really that boring, just too lazy right now to put everything down.
Expertise: I don't claim to be an expert at anything.
Occupation: Student
Industry: Art
Message: message me
AIM:  tortuous muse
Member Since:
8/9/2004
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| My head hurts. I should sleep soon.
Lately I've been having the weirdest dreams. I think pregnancy
does that to you. Every night I have a weird dream. Last night's topped
them all, but I won't go into that just now. Found a new band I like, I
think I might buy the cd. Don't know. I just spent money on Chris, so I
think I'll wait a little bit. At least until his gift arrives and I can
give it to him. I hope he likes it...Surprise!!
Had a good conversation with a friend last night. It's amazing what you
find out about people four years later...I can't believe he...did
that...and it wasn't obvious...hmmm..
Night all.†‡
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| "The young are so innocent in everything...including their stupidity." - Anonymous
I've always been curious. People are immensely fascinating, and
I've always been intrigued by the various quirks and mazes hidden
inside. My interest started young, and of course when you're young
you're naive, so I would ask questions. "What's your favorite color?",
"What makes you like this song?", "What would you do if...", and so on.
It wasn't until about two years ago that I realized I wouldn't get
anywhere. Yes, I held a vast knowledge on the favorite books, movies,
songs, etc. of my friends and such, but did I actually know anything?
And then it hit me. Out of no where I suddenly found the answer that
had always been so simple, I just hadn't grown up enough to realize it.
You have to watch. You have to grow and change with the person in
order to know them. Watch how they walk, talk, stand, sit, how their
face changes when they're happy, sad, angry, frustrated, depressed,
etc. Every expression means something different, and you can't just ask
them what it means. You have to learn for yourself through experience.
Sometimes I sit there and just watch how people interract with
eachother in different situations. Some people I can predict exactly
what they're going to say, others I'm still learning. I watch my
boyfriend the most, he is the one that is the most difficult....because
I have only just re-entered his life a few weeks ago (but I'll save all
that for a later post).
I guess in retrospect I should have known all of this long ago, but no one can know everything. †‡
P.S.
To him, and you know who you are, it feels good to show people something in you they've never seen, doesn't it?
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| Have you ever been in a situation that just felt
right? You can't explain it, it just fits. I like that feeling.
I hate assholes. People who use people for nothing
but their own gain. Assholes should not be allowed to breed, then we
could stop the creation of new assholes. Then again, without them the
balance would probably be shifted and everything would be thrown off.
Oh well. I can live with it, I guess.
I've been thinking a lot about my future. What I'm
going to do, how it's going to be. Sometimes I start to get carried
away by the fantasies I create. Then I remember that just because I
dream it doesn't mean it'll turn out that way, and I become grounded
again.
I can't wait until tomorrow...
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| Never underestimate a drunken man's ability to understand.
I recently made one of the hardest decisions of my
life. I know it was the right thing to do, it's better for almost
everyone, but it feels so wrong. Now there's something missing and I
can't take it back. He was the only person who ever really loved me.
It's amazing how you can know someone for so long
and not realize until years later just how wonderful they are. As if
there was this secret place in them that laid hidden all this time, and
finally they decided that you were special enough to see it.
I recently ran into an old friend. I feel needed
again. I feel as if by being around I actually make their day better. I
haven't felt like that in so long...it's nice. It's nice to have
someone hug you with everything in them as soon as they see you...as if
they'd been waiting to hug you forever and they don't want to let the
chance slip through their fingers. Never underestimate the power of a
simple hug.
"Please don't try so hard to say goodbye"†‡
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| How I love the stress that comes along with
deadlines. It's frustrating and annoying, but I love it. Not
much to say, so I'll throw in a quote to make it look like I'm taking
up more space than I actually am.
"I'm never critical or judgemental about whether or not a movie is
good. The way I look at it, if several hundred people got together
every day for a year or so -- a number of them willing to put on heavy
makeup, wear clothes that weren't their own and pretend to be people
other than themselves -- and their whole purpose for doing all this was
to entertain me, then I'm not gonna start worrying about whether or not
they did a good job. The effort alone was enough to make me happy."
-George Carlin
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